


Falling with Finesse.

by VarricTitsrass



Category: Bleach
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Ichigo is a little traumatised, Kisuke is kisuke, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, kind of lol, no betas we die like men, uryuu is done with this shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-09-16 00:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16943661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VarricTitsrass/pseuds/VarricTitsrass
Summary: “Urahara…” Says Kurosaki with a tone usually reserved for Aizen.“It’s finished!” Replies Urahara, ignoring Kurosaki in favour of cackling like the mad scientist he truly is.“I’m going to kill you both.” Snarls Uryuu.ORUrahara Kisuke accidentally creates a time machine and everyone else suffers as a result.





	1. Hindsight and a Hard Place

**Author's Note:**

> Uryuu is a kind of a spiteful bitch and I'm living for it.

In retrospect, agreeing to assist Urahara Kisuke in  _ any _ scheme is a terrible idea. One moment he’s adjusting tangled wires and metal platings on one of the mad shinigami’s devices, eyebrow twitching as he begrudgingly follows the mans orders - to the T because he’s Ishida Uryuu and he’s a  _ perfectionist -  _ and the next he’s being shoved into the small space inside of whatever weird box they’d been working on.

 

He lies on the cold floor for a moment, ass over tits, suspended in disbelief. 

 

Eyebrow twitch speeding up exponentially, he drags himself up from the floor and spins to were the opening he’d been pushed through used to be.

 

“What the  _ hell,  _ Urahara!?” He slams a fist against the metal of the wall, cursing up a storm in his head, because  _ of course _ Urahara has something nefarious in mind, he’s  _ Urahara _ and Uryuu is an  _ idiot _ for thinking otherwise.

 

Urahara - the  _ bastard _ \- just laughs. “I don’t know yet!” He says, like it  _ isn't  _ the stupidest thing to ever leave his stupid, shinigami mouth.

 

“You don't  _ know!”  _ Uryuu’s voice reaches an octave he didn't know he was capable of and he scratches his nails down the wall to distract himself before his mind can come up with anything  _ too _ murdery. He takes a calming breath.  _ Don’t start a war with Soul Society to spite one shinigami. Don't start a war with Soul Society to spite  _ one _ shinigami. _

 

“Well, I have  _ hypotheses _ of course” 

 

Uryuu's glare could have frozen a desert. “ _ Shinigami _ you will  _ let me out-” _

 

“Oho~ Calm down now Ishida-kun~  We’ll have you out in no time!” Uryuu didn't need a window to see the shopkeepers creepy smile. Just why had he agreed to share a living space with this man again? 

 

Oh yeah. They were on the  _ run _ . Because shinigami were  _ stupid, racist assholes _ and he didn't have a  _ choice. _

 

He grits his teeth and steps back into the center of the contraption. The light Urahara had provided barely lit up his shoes and if he stretched out his arms, his finger tips would brush against the walls easily. Tucking a strip of hair behind his ear, he opens his mouth to tell the shinigami  _ exactly _ what he thought of him when he heard the sound of the front door swing open. 

 

“Ah, Kurosaki-kun! Just who I was waiting for!” There was a startled yell and the door to his cage was opened and shut again before he had the chance to warn Kurosaki he was sharing his home with a madman. 

 

Uryuu let out an ‘oomph’ as Ichigo crashed into him, sending them both flying to the floor, all tangled limbs and furious words. Kurosaki, pushing himself up until he was leaning over Uryuu, palms braced either side of his head, sent the now closed door a furious glare. 

 

“Hey Urahara. What the  _ fuck?” _

 

“Just an experiment, Kurosaki-kun, no need to panic!” Said the mad scientist to his test subjects.

 

Uryuu took the opportunity to point out what happened the last time Urahara had involved one of their allies in an experiment. 

 

Kurosaki shivered and Urahara tutted irreverently. “Grimmjow-san looked good bald, Ishida-kun, he didn't complain at least!”

 

“He couldn't talk!” Mutters Kurosaki. the substitute-shinigami’s eyebrows are pulled down into a familiar scowl and Uryu takes the opportunity to grab him by the shoulders and  _ push. _

 

There is another crash as Kurosaki lands hard on his side, Urahara lets out a mocking sound of intrigue that makes Uryuu want to stab him with a pencil. 

 

An elbow embeds itself into his side and he swears.

 

“Kurosaki what the hell!” He pushes against shinigami’s face - clawing just a little, not enough to draw blood, so Kurosaki has  _ nothing _ to bitch about - and slams his foot into the door of Urahara’s weird person trap. “Let us out!”

 

“You shoved me!” Ichigo yelps. And then, “Yeah Geta-Boshi, what he said.”

 

“Any minute now Kurosaki- kun. Just a  _ few _ more seconds…!”

 

Machinery begins to whirr and beep, Uryuu shifts quickly away from the sound as if it might save him from whatever Urahara was planning.

 

“A few more seconds until  _ what?”   _ Uryuu is  _ this  _ close to committing double homicide. Urahara because quite frankly he deserves it and Kurosaki because he happens to be in the vicinity. 

 

“You’re weird people box is flashing. Why is your weird people box flashing,  _ Urahara!”  _ Kurosaki kicks at the wall with all the fervour of a child throwing a tantrum. “What is that?” 

 

Uryu follows Kurosaki’s gaze, pulling at his collar agitatedly. The two of them watch as the shadows slowly climb up the wall of their container, strangling out any light until they are left standing in complete darkness.

 

“ _ Kisuke…”  _ Says Kurosaki with a tone usually reserved for Aizen.

 

“It’s finished!” Replies Urahara, ignoring Kurosaki in favour of cackling like the mad scientist he truly is.

 

“I’m going to kill you both.” Snarls Uryuu.

 

And then they are gone. 

 

-

 

Watching Kisuke devour the soul of other, younger Kisuke is up there on the scale of the most disgusting things he’s ever seen. It is right up there with Aaroniero, that gross, face-stealing mother fucker that had traumatised Rukia that one time. Ichigo turns to Uryuu, hoping to find a kindred spirit. 

 

“Aw no, Ishida really?” The Quincy doesn't even pause in his note-taking. Ichigo can't see his eyes behind the glare of his glasses, but he can imagine they're shining with some kind of sick glee as he watches all this shit go down.

 

“It’s no different than watching an adjuchas eat other hollows, Kurosaki. Don’t be a child.” Ichigo’s kicks the back of Ishida’s leg, across the room, Kisuke wipes his mouth, tossing the empty soul husk onto the ground.

 

“It’s  _ so _ not like watching an adjuchas eat another hollow.” Comparing the two is like comparing a bird eating a worm to human cannibalism. Their Kisuke kicks the - dead?- body of other Kisuke and Uryuu makes an interested noise - pen scratching away at paper - that sends shivers up Ichigo’s spine, as the body finally fully dissolves.

 

“Well!” Chirps,Kisuke, clapping his hands together. “I’m glad I can cross that off my bucket list!” Completely ignoring Ichigo’s panicked mutter of ‘ _ Why the hell was that on your bucket list!’,  _ he turns and smiles at the two humans. “Who wants to go next?” He claps his hands together like a man suggesting a game of golf, which is decidedly  _ not  _ what is happening.

 

Ichigo glances over to both of their bodies, lying side by side, unconscious on Urahara’s table. Their other bodies that is. Their younger bodies? Fuck. He squints at Urahara.

 

“I'm not eating myself.”

 

Uryu lets out a long-suffering sigh, like Ichigo is being  _ unreasonable _ by not wanting to eat his own soul. “It isn't you. You’re you. This is you from ten years ago. Don’t be an imbecile.” Without even a little bit of preamble the Quincy rolls up his sleeves and grabs his other self by the collar. He hums consideringly and tosses Ichigo his notebook. “Take notes, Kurosaki.”

 

Ichigo does  _ not _ take notes thank you very much. But he  _ does  _ watch in open-mouthed disgust, in much the same way one can’t look away from videos of people falling down stairs, as Ishida covers his hand in a glove of Reishi and plunges said hand into younger Ishida’s chest. From that point onwards he very pointedly does  _ not _ watch. 

 

A few moments later a hand slaps down on each of his shoulders and he is pushed forwards by a smug Ishida and  _ way too amused _ Urahara. 

 

“Come on Kurosaki-kun. Don't make me force feed you your own soul.” Urahara sings.. 

 

He heaves in a shaky breath. “Remind me why I have to do this.”

 

“So we don’t bring all of space-time crashing down on our  _ heads _ , Kurosaki!” Uryuu shoves him forwards again.

 

“Right.  _ That _ .”

 

-

 

Kisuke is used to his inventions having unexpected consequences. It is something he has learned to build his admittedly shoddy morals around in the name of science and whilst he certainly regrets many things, there is nothing he has not yet managed to get over. 

 

So, time travel is new and unexpected, yes, but it isn't going to  _ beat  _ him. Because he’s Urahara Kisuke and if all of Soul Society can’t get rid of him a little bit of accidental time travel  _ definitely _ won't.

 

The fact that he has dragged Kurosaki Ichigo and Ishida Uryuu along for the ride is unfortunate but in the long run, mostly an advantage because having the insanely strong Ichigo and the unexpectedly strong Quincy with him can only be an advantage.

 

However, right now it feels a little like owning two very rabid, very feral dogs.

 

He sighs, morosely placing his crossword down on the arm of his chair and raising his head just in time to see Ishida go for Ichigo’s throat. They both crash to the floor, letting out furious hisses and throaty yowls that echo through the small space that is his living room.

 

Did he say dogs?

 

Kisuke pushes himself out of his chair and steps around the two wrestling men delicately. Tessai- san is waiting in the hallway, a tray of tea in hand. He can’t quite bite back a small smile as the large man executes a small, polite bow. Kisuke reaches out for a mug of tea, allowing it to warm his hands slowly.

 

“You’re taking this rather easily, Tessai-san.” Kisuke had partly expecting a hand around his throat when Tessai had appeared and the least opportune moment. Hovering in the doorway right as Kurosaki-kun had finally worked out the courage - and figured out how to mould his reiryoku - to eat his own soul.

 

Tessai had recognized immediately that he wasn’t the same Kisuke he’d made dinner for the night before. The man had served him for a very long time after all, but, without even blinking Tessai had simply asked if Yakisoba was okay for dinner, ignoring studiously, Kurosaki- kun heaving rather dramatically in the corner.

 

Kisuke watched through the shadow of his hat as Tessai shrugged his large shoulders. “Ten years older, ten years younger. I serve you either way.” 

 

Urahara Kisuke had been through too much shit to tear up at sentimentality, but it was a close thing. “Ah. You’re far too good to me.” 

 

Tessai makes a sound of agreement that makes Kisuke chuckle around his mug, sipping at his tea gingerly. He’d never been very good with hot foods.

 

In the other room he hears Ichigo scream and the sound of something smashing and he closes his eyes. He is a man of patience. Patience and Calm. 

 

Tessai grunts. “It will be very lively now, I think.” 

 

Kisuke gives him a look that says quite plainly how obvious a statement he thinks that is and places his mug back on the tray, saying seriously and a little fearfully.

 

“We’ve become parents, Tessai-san.”

 

-

 

Seeing Ryuuken again is something like a solid punch to the stomach, after a day of sparring with both Kurosaki and Jaegerjaquez at the same time. Because, whilst they’d never been close, not by any means, the man was still his father. Uryuu had mourned his passing, if only for a little while - it was hard to mourn a man with whom you shared barely a moment of affection with after all - and he had learned to look back on him with a little less fury and a modicum of respect.

 

But now, with the man sitting across from him at the table, he wasn’t sure how to feel. His eyes flickered upwards drinking in his father's stoic face before dropping back down to his dinner.

 

The lack of conversation at meal times had never bothered him before, but then he’d fallen in with Kurosaki Ichigo and his ilk and silence had become something of a rare commodity. Something that had to be specifically sought out and defended like a chest full of gold. 

 

So silence was weird and he was uncomfortable. But what could he say?

 

‘Hey Ryuuken, just popped back in time to eat the soul of my younger self and probably send Soul society into perpetual chaos.’ No. That wouldn't go over too well.

 

‘Hey Ryuuken, remember how you said I’d never be strong enough to live up to your legacy? Well hah, fuck you.’ 

 

That would probably go over worse. 

 

God, he was actually longing for the shinigami and their endless inane chatter. He almost missed  _ Yoruichi _ even at her most intoxicated. 

 

Chewing a little faster he watches Ryuuken flip the page of his newspaper. He’s being studiously ignored. Uryuu knows there's no way Ryuuken hasn't felt his stare burning into his skin for the last half hour. He’s almost tempted to scream just to see what would happen, but then he reminds himself that he’s almost 26 and he’s  _ not _ that desperate for his father's attention.

 

Because he  _ doesn't _ have _ daddy issues _ Kurosaki. 

 

It’s only about fifteen minutes later when Ryuuken has apparently had enough of his incessant staring. He folds down his newspaper regally - and  _ how the fuck _ ? Who folds things regally - places it on the table and stands. 

 

The scrape of the chair on the floor makes Uryuu’s hands twitch. 

 

“I will be home late tonight.” Uryuu takes a few seconds to reboot, having been silent for so long and nods. There is a moment where his father stands awkwardly, sandwiched between the table and his chair, before he walks out of the room.

 

Uryuu, left sitting alone in the kitchen, sighs. 

 

This is going to take some getting used to. 

 

-

 

The leaves rustle quietly outside his window, like muttered conversations being passed along tree branches, sprig by sprig. One of the trees branches smacks into his window every few seconds with a dull thud that echoes in the empty silence of his room. He’s begun counting the strands of fur in Kon’s mane. 

 

Ichigo pulls his duvet up around his neck, pressing his face into his pillow with a weary groan. Across the hall, someone sneezes in their sleep and Ichigo nearly draws his Zanpakutou. 

 

He can’t switch off. 

 

On his pillow, Kon swallows around a loud snore and Ichigo has to resist the urge to shove him off the bed and send him tumbling to the floor. 

 

He is used to the calming presence of alert Reiatsu nearby. Someone stationed at the entrance of their safe house or just inside the perimeter, standing awake as the rest of the household sleeps soundly until rotation.  Orihime or maybe Tessai-san, sewing silently into the early hours, prepared to shift into action at any sign of attack, or Grimmjow scowling down at one of the crosswords Urahara has rigged to be unsolvable because he’s a  _ sadist _ .

 

How is he supposed to sleep without someone on watch?

 

Kon rolls over and a light, plushy arm flops onto his face. Ichigo scowls and finally gives in,  crawling out of the bed, rubbing his eyes roughly. 

 

Fuck it. He isn't getting to sleep anytime soon. 

 

He approaches his desk on silent feet, raising an eyebrow when he was close enough to spot the notifications flashing up on the screen. He scratches his head and collapses into his desk chair. 

 

6 Notifications. He snorts. All Ishida.

 

**Ryuken snores louder than Yoruichi after eight bottles of Sake.**

 

**Can I eat** **_his_ ** **soul too or was that a one-time thing?**

 

**Kurosaki.**

 

**Kurosaki you bastard I know your paranoid ass is awake.**

**Kurosaki.**

 

**Can cats get drunk?**

 

Ichigo bites back a grin. Sleep deprived Ishida is a sight to behold. He makes a note to arrange some kind of game night. Ishida is too competitive to resist those, and undeniably too competitive to be out-drank. 

 

He swipes at the notification and waits for his screen to unlock so he can reply. It flashes again before he can do so. 

 

**I’m sleeping at yours tomorrow.**

 

Ichigo blinks in surprise. Ryuuken must have really unsettled Ishida for him to actually admit to weakness in any form. Especially to  _ Ichigo _ .

 

He could be on fire and he’d refuse help from Ichigo if he was holding a bucket of water. 

 

‘Why?’ He types, quickly, swearing as he deletes half the message as the words are misspelled. ‘Missing me already?’

 

The answer is almost instantaneous and Ichigo laughs quietly.

 

**Not on your life Kurosaki. Someone needs to stop you from making stupid decisions.**

 

‘So gracious, Uryuu-sama.’

 

**You know it, Kurosaki.**

 

Kon grunts and Ichigo spares him a quick glance. His Reiatsu shifts silently, scanning the nearby area for any threats before settling down restlessly. 

 

**‘** I’ll talk to my dad’

 

**Good.**

 

His phone doesn't flash again and Ichigo can’t think of anything else to say, so he places his phone back down on the table. Isshin probably won't mind, even if he might find it a little weird that Ichigo is suddenly friends with Ryuuken’s kid. He also has never really brought friends over before. 

 

He shrugs and rifles through his draw for some paper and a few pencils. It's not like his dad’s opinion really matters, Ishida would crawl through his window and sleep under the bed like a stray cat if he really had to. 

  
  


**-**

 

When Ishida shows up on his doorstep the next evening, he really  _ does _ look like a stray cat. A drowned one, hair flattened on his scalp, pressed down by heavy rain, blazer spotted with raindrops in the places his umbrella couldn't cover. The Quincy’s glasses steam up in the sudden heat as he steps over the threshold and Ichigo has to bite back a snicker. 

 

Ishida glares at him over the top of his glasses and lets his wet bag flop onto the floor, stripping his blazer of quickly. 

 

“Ichi-nii?” Yuzu peaks out from behind a door frame - batter-covered whisk in hand - to stare at Ishida curiously. Ishida bows swiftly and his attempt at a smile is so awkward that Ichigo has to take over before the second-hand embarrassment becomes too much.

 

“This is Ishida. He’s staying the night.” Yuzu looks horrified. 

 

“Ichi-nii! You should have told me earlier!” She hurdles back into the kitchen, slamming her whisk down with a loud clang. From the living room, Karin makes a disgruntled noise and turns the tv up, knowing better than to interrupt Yuzu when she’s cooking. 

 

Ichigo follows at a more sedate pace, Ishida on his heels. He watches bemusedly as his sister throws open the fridge, muttering under her breath. “What are you doing?” 

 

She rounds on him like a kicked dog, with a wild look in her eyes, Ichigo resists the urge to tuck a loose strand of her behind her ear. “I haven’t cooked enough!” She whines, looking more like she’d run over a kitten than not cooked enough dinner for her surprise guest. 

 

Ichigo snorts and scratches his cheek when he realises his arms have been crossed over his chest defensively. What was he really expecting? It was  _ Yuzu _ . She would never turn away a guest. Especially when they look as worse for wear as Ishida does in that moment. 

 

Ishida clears his throat, stepping forward to draw Yuzu’s eyes towards him. “I ate lunch not long ago, Kurosaki-san. I wouldn't worry too much.” Ichigo wonders if Uryuu thinks that's actually going to work. He can spot the exact moment Yuzu’s expression switches from panicked to determined.

 

She plants her hands on her hips and it's pretty much over for Ishida’s protestations. Ichigo reclines against the doorframe, ready to intervene the moment Yuzu becomes too much for the socially inept Ishida. 

 

“Don’t be silly, Ishida-san! It’s no trouble at all and-! You’re soaked through!” Ichigo stands to attention as his tiny sister turns sharply towards him. “Ichi-nii! Show Ishida-san to the bathroom and let him use the shower!”

 

Karin takes this moment to saunter into the room, stretching up on her tiptoes to reach a glass. She rolls her eyes and nods towards Ishida who nods back hesitantly. “Sorry. Ichi-nii has the manners of a bull raised by wolves.”

 

Ichigo splutters and Yuzu pushes firmly against him before he can complain. “Ichi-nii!” With a scowl Ichigo turns and heads for the stairs, letting Ishida follow at his own pace. It isn’t like he needs directions after all. 

 

He storms into his bedroom and grabs a towel from his cupboard, launching at Ishida’s face before he can step into the room. “Showers on the left.”

 

“I know that Kurosaki.” Ishida snaps, crossing his arms, eyes darting about the room. 

 

Ichigo flops down onto his bed with a sigh. “If you’re looking for Kon I exiled him to the living room.” 

 

Ishida’s cheeks flush, apparently mortified at being so predictable. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a sniff. “I wasn't.” 

 

Ichigo rolls his eyes and stretches out his limbs, the sun shining on him through the window makes him feel a bit like a giant cat, sunning himself on a windowsill.  He feels a lot better already, knowing that Ishida is staying the night and that they can sleep in shifts. Not that he is ever going to tell him that. He rolls his eyes and flips over so he can watch the leaves fluttering outside his window. “Yeah. Okay.” 

 

It’s a testament to Ishida’s good mood that he doesn't snap back something snarky. Instead he turns and takes a few long strides to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. 

 

Ichigo sighs, of course he would be stuck back in time with the pissiest Quincy in existence. 

 

-

 

Uryuu isn't quite comfortable enough in the Kurosaki household to shove Kurosaki of the chair like he desperately wants to, so, with great difficulty he restrains himself, settling for a dark scowl instead. 

  
  


Kurosaki kicks his shin under the table - like they’re three year olds squabbling over sweets and  _ not _ almost 30 year old war veterans. Because he’s an  _ adult _ Uryuu doesn't kick back and because he’s an  _ adult _ he doesn't overturn his plate and launch what's left at Kurosaki’s face. 

 

He steals the last piece of cake instead.

 

Across the table, the Kurosaki twins watch them in a kind of silent awe, like they can’t quite figure out exactly the kind of relationship the two of them have.

 

Uryuu relates. 

 

In an attempt to save face, he compliments Yuzu on her  _ spectacular _ sticky toffee pudding and asks where exactly she found the recipe. The girls face lights up like Grimmjow's at the prospect of pounding shinigami faces into the floor. The likeness is actually a little disturbing. 

 

It’s nice though. The meal that is. Not being near Kurosaki and having to listen to him speak, but the food, and the atmosphere. There is also the fact that Kurosaki Yuzu is impossible to be annoyed by. He finds himself squinting at her sunshine grin, wondering if its some form of Kido spell he's never heard off to trick others into trusting her. Like a wolf wearing gloves to hide its claws. 

 

Kurosaki kicks his shin under the table again and he realises he’s been staring. This time he  _ does _ kick back. He’s only human after all. 

 

When the meal is finished, Kurosaki heads upstairs to roll out a futon and get the room ready. Uryuu is left to help Karin with the washing up.

 

They stand side by side, Karin, bright pink gloves on covered in soap and Uryuu, dish towel in hand, drying down plates as she passes them too him. His social awkwardness kicks in halfway through and suddenly he’s hyper-aware of the silence between them. 

 

“You and Ichi-nii are kinda alike you know?” She says, innocent as a puppy with a ripped sock in its mouth. Uryuu  _ doesn't _ know and he reminds himself that pulling a little girls hair, let alone Kurosaki’s little sister's hair is not socially acceptable. 

 

He decides the safest route is to hmm non-committedly. Karin gives him a wry grin, like she knows exactly what he’s thinking and he shoves a now dry mug harder into the cupboard than strictly necessary. 

 

“You both kinda have a temper too huh.” This time he can't quite prevent the scowl and Kurosaki Karin laughs. 

 

All Kurosaki’s are demons. 

 

But at least Ichigo is obvious about the fact.


	2. Biting off the Wrong Foot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Subtly is not a gift our time-travelers share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda not entirely pleased with this one but here we go lol

Ichigo kind of forgets that it’s around this time the Shinigami are due to shunpo into his life, leaving it an irrevocable mess without so much as a ‘By your leave’. The thought occurs to him in the early hours of the morning when the sun hasn't quite risen and the birds are still sleeping silently in their nests, hidden from the rain by high reaching boughs and flourishing leaves.

 

Ichigo is sat with his back against his bedroom door, staring blankly down at his sketch pad, waiting until it's late enough in the morning to kick Ishida out of bed so they can, like, spar or something. He chews on the end of his pencil, hands running over a half-finished drawing, his knee bouncing at a steady pace.

 

Hueco Mundo translates onto paper almost effortlessly. Its landscapes are so chimerical, with shifting dunes and swirling skies that artistic renditions, no matter how fantastical, still kind of do the place justice. Ichigo wonders uncertainly if sketching the place they’d spent so long hiding in made him just a little crazy.

 

Or you know, just the extended contact with Urahara Kisuke, who was his own brand of crazy.

 

Ichigo still hasn't really wrapped his head around the whole time travel thing. It's something he's fully aware of, obviously but it's like he hasn't fully acknowledged it and has been floating in a perpetual dreamscape for the last week and a bit. 

 

He taps his pencil against his knee. Across the room Ichigo’s bed sheets crumple as Ishida shifts lightly on their surface. Kon is stuffed in his wardrobe, buried beneath the clothes and linen Ichigo can't be bothered to hang. 

 

He is entirely unprepared for when Kuchiki Rukia steps into the room. Balancing softly on the windowsill, graceful and as otherworldly as she ought to be. In the moonlight, Sode no Shirayuki glimmers and for a moment, Ichigo can only stare, lungs wound tight and his heart in his throat.

 

Kuchiki Rukia, with a bullheadedness that spoke strongly of the struggle she had faced in Rukongai, starving for both food and any chance she could grab to survive, had torn her way into his tight circle of very important people almost instantaneously.

 

It had truly seemed to him, at the time, that she had gone from mild annoyance - and interest - to someone he would lay his life down for without a second thought and he knew she'd do the same.

 

Silently, Ichigo places down his sketch pad and launches his pencil at her head.

 

The Shinigami squeaks, arms flailing as the shock upsets the tender balance that was keeping her in the room. Underneath the windowsill Uryuu goes from sleeping soundly to leaping from his position with a yell, blind without his glances and still half asleep, the Uryuu kicks the shinigami from her place in the window.

 

They watch her fall detachedly, paying no mind to how strange the two of them might look, leaning out the window at barely three in the morning. Rukia lands, hair fluffed up like a frightened cat and Ishida punches him in the arm.

 

“You let me _kick_ her!” He snarls, looking for the Shinigami amongst the bushes.

 

“I didn't _let_ you do anything! You did it yourself. Besides, she’s fine.”

 

“Not the _point_ , _idiot_ we’re meant to be lying low!” Ichigo scowls, watching Rukia struggle to right herself.

 

“What was I supposed to do! You’re the one who freaked out for no reason!”

 

The look on Ishida’s face is venomous, but a rustling from outsides cuts off his reply.

 

The look on Rukia’s face is even more so, when she finally pulls herself up.

 

Rukia stumbles into the room, Shihakusho all askew and Ichigo leans over and pulls a leaf from her hair, ignoring her snarling in favour of just… basking in her presence.

 

The world feels a little like it’s begging to right itself.

 

-

 

Uryuu has been staying overnight at the Kurosaki household now for over a week. The room has become significantly more cramped, it's built for one person, not _four_ , even if one of them is currently inhabiting the body of a stuffed lion. Kuchiki is sleeping in the closet again. The Shinigami is a whirlwind of mess wherever she goes and Uryuu is getting tired of picking up after her, but her soft breathing helps Kurosaki sleep so he doesn't complain. Much.

 

Kon had demanded a nest on the floor after a few solid hours of drama over the fact no one had told him Uryuu knew about the shinigami. Uryuu usually waited until he was asleep to kick him under the bed.

 

Uryuu is downstairs in the kitchen, making lunch when Karin stumbles into the kitchen, wearing nothing but a long shirt and no sympathy for Uryuu’s sensibilities. She grunts at him, he interprets that as a good morning and passes her a cup of tea. He had it ready, the eldest Kurosaki sister always makes her way down the stairs at 6:30 like clockwork.

 

She perches on the kitchen table with a groan, stretching her arms above her head with a wide yawn. “Ichigo up?”

 

Uryuu scoffs. “This early?” He presses down the lid on the last bento and packs it into the fridge. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

 

“What about Rukia?” Karin had grown rather attached to the shinigami this time around. Ishida didn't find it surprising. They were both loud and boorish, they made the perfect pair.

 

“Also still asleep.” Karin rolls her eyes and mutters something derogatory into her tea. Uryuu passes her, her breakfast.

 

He slides into his chair and glares at Karin until she does the same. It’s oddly domestic, Uryuu realises, not sure how to feel at how quickly, Karin, Yuzu and even Isshin had simply accepted his presence as ordinary.

 

A strange feeling arises when he thinks about it the fact.

 

Then again, the Kurosaki weren’t exactly what you would call ordinary themselves, so he doesn't quite know why he expects anything different. Isshin had even taking to attacking Uryuu with the same fervour he did with his own son. Kurosaki had laughed himself sick the first time it happened.

 

Uryuu wonders if there was something about fathers that made them entirely inconceivable at best and intentionally baffling at worst.

 

Maybe he and Kurosaki were just lucky.

 

Around a mouthful of food Karin says, “You know one of these days Yuzu is gonna skin you for making breakfast before she can.”

 

Uryuu sniffs. “If she wants to make breakfast she will have to get up earlier than eight.” He begins to neatly slice his food, placing his tea down gently.

 

Karin snorts. “I’m telling her you said that.”

 

He raises an eyebrow. “I’m sure she will recover from this mark on her honor.” Kurosaki Yuzu was actually the most stubborn and determined of the Kurosaki clan, he’d slowly come to realise. Using her kitchen was a little like stepping into the territory of a tigress. 

 

Not that he was scared of her.

 

From upstairs Uryuu hears a crash and forces down his immediate instincts at Kurosaki’s resulting yell.

 

Karin sips her tea. “Dads up.”

 

Uryuu grimaces and waits for the telltale silence to take Kurosaki his breakfast. Not because he wants to. But because if he doesn't Kurosaki will go back to sleep and they’ll never leave for school in time and Uryuu’s never been late once in his _life._

 

If he pauses to knock and Yuzu’s door softly and leave a cup of tea on her desk that's nobody’s business but his own.

 

-

 

Kisuke has a problem. And no, it’s _not_ the time travel, he’s over that, that was last week's problem.

 

No, no, Kisuke has a _problem_ and it’s entirely self induced - as most of his problems seem to be. He doesn’t even have anyone else to blame.

 

Kurosaki-kun’s impulsivity is rubbing off on him.

 

He scratches his chin as the door to his lab opens with a screech and Tessai steps in. Kisuke hums a greeting and takes the coffee placed in his hand with a slightly forced smile. “Good morning!”

 

“It’s 11pm.” Says the large man, stepping around the Arrancar on the floor to reach for the curtains, pulling them closed. Kisuke blinks as his eyes adjust to the darkness, the lighting from the moon seeping in from the window cut of suddenly by the heavy cloth.

 

Using the artificial light blaring up from his computer screen, Kisuke and looks down at his watch. “So it is.” He taps away at his keyboard, trying to make sense of the data before him, like he has been for the last 16 hours. Give or take.

 

Tessai - with a fluidity and grace Kisuke is sure a man his size shouldn't be able to achieve - squats down in front of the Hollow, Kisuke spent a good few days searching for. “Should I make up the spare room?”

 

His fingers attack the keys a little more aggressively. “No, I shouldn't think so. A cage may be more appropriate.”

 

There is a pause.

 

“The basement walls are heavily reinforced.” Tessai says with the air of a man perfectly happy to toss the Arrancar down into their secret little training room and leave him there for good.

 

Ah, Kisuke doesn't deserve him.

 

“What a wonderful idea.” He says, pausing in his reading to nudge Grimmjow's arm with his foot, gingerly. “We can throw Kurosaki-kun down there to wear him out.”

 

Not that Grimmjow as he was currently stood any kind of chance against Kurosaki Ichigo and his terrifying strength.

 

“Ishida- kun as well.” Says Tessai after a moment's contemplation. “And Jinta and Uruuru. They have been lax in their training.”

 

Kisuke allows a brief moment of silence for Jinta and Ururu free-time. From his position on the floor, Grimmjow twitches and his eyes flutter open for a brief second. Tessai slams a fist into his stomach.

 

“...Please don't kill our new guest, Tessai-san.”

-

 

Ishida takes one look at the unconscious Arrancar and turns on his heel, dodging around a cake-bearing Tessai and an apron-wearing Urahara to head straight for the door. Ichigo grabs him by the elbow and holds the Quincy in place absentmindedly, nudging Grimmjow in the leg with his foot.

 

From the doorway, Jinta eyes the Hollow with distaste. Ururu, broom in hand steps into the room stiffly. “Should I hit him, Tenchou?”

 

Urahara smiles like a proud father. “Maybe later, Ururu-chan.”

 

Ichigo clears his throat. “I feel like I’ve said this a lot lately, but Urahara. What. The. Fuck?”

 

Tessai slices the cake and divides it out between the six of them, Grimmjow not included. Humming quietly he begins handing them out to everyone. Ichigo takes a portion reflexively, squinting in the face of Urahara’s blinding smile.

 

“You don’t like your present?” He sounds genuinely upset as he takes a bite of his cake.

 

Ichigo scowls. “This is a full grown, enemy Arrancar. We can’t keep him. He’s not _ours._ ”

 

The Grimmjow Jeagerjaques of their time had become a somewhat reluctant ally and to this day Ichigo couldn’t tell you how the fuck it had happened.

 

It had seemed like one day he’d been all, _‘Kurosaki! I’m gonna kill you ‘cause Aizen wants me to!’_ and had very suddenly become, ‘ _Kurosaki! I’m gonna beat the shit out of you because that’s what_ _I want to do with my_ _time!’,_ because that was somehow _Ichigo’s life._

 

Ishida yanks his arm out of his hands, glowering at Urahara. “Did you go _looking for him?”_ He pauses in his rage to take a plate from Tessai, thanking him politely. “Why did you go looking for him?”

 

“I think you should show more appreciation for my hard work Ishida-kun, it took me all week to find him you know.”

 

Ishida makes a sound like a feral cat and Ichigo rubs at his temples. “What are you even going to _do_ with him? You can’t just _keep_ him. He’s kind of the enemy right now.”

 

Tessai answers, “We have a collar. And a cage.”

 

“I don't even know how to begin explaining everything that’s wrong with this situation.”

 

When Grimmjow groans, fingers twitching, Ichigo can't quite control a reflexive kick to the throat. He winces.

 

Ishida snorts.

 

Urahara claps his hands together. "I've never had a pet before! It'll be fun!"

 

Ichigo doesn't even know why he bothers arguing. His shoulders droop and he sighs. "I'll get Zangetsu." 

 

Someone was going to have to keep the Arrancar in check.


	3. No Use Crying Over High Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo is having a bad time. Kisuke is having a bad time. Grimmjow is having a bad time. Uryuu is thriving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was like trying to take a cat on a walk.

See here's the thing. Kisuke  _ does  _ actually have a plan that involves kidnapping Grimmjow other than keeping up the convenient facade of mad scientist. It isn’t a  _ great _ plan and it ’s a little risky as far as plans go, but - as Hirako Shinji and the rest of the  Vizard would tell you - risky and kind of questionable plans are  kind of __ his  _modus operandi._

 

Because, here’s the thing. They are _back in time_. Which means a number of things. Kisuke is ten years younger for one -  equally attractive at 436 as he was at 446 in his humble opinion \- and less importantly, but perhaps more pressing, Aizen Sousuke is still alive. 

 

Aizen Sousuke - or as Ichigo affectionately likes to call him,  _ that one bastard, motherfucker who ruined all of their lives - _ is still alive and they have to kill him. Again.

 

Because once wasn't hard enough.

 

Kisuke adjusts his hold on Benihime and runs his tongue along the back of his teeth.

 

Kurosaki Ichigo isn’t made for killing. He isn’t a 400 years old Shinigami from one of the old houses who’s been raised with a sword in their hand since before they could walk. He certainly isn’t a Rukongai brat with a desperation for survival and a rigid determination that moulds children into cutthroat Shinigami.

 

Kisuke has  _opinions_ on Rukongai but that is neither here nor there.

 

Kurosaki Ichigo is a  _ child _ . Barely 30 in the body of a 19-year-old human boy, who has been forced to grow up far earlier than he should have. 

 

Kisuke had taken full advantage of his naivete the first time - what was the pain of one human child over the survival of all of Soul Society, he  _ had _ to look at the  _ bigger picture _ \- but he isn’t going to do it again. 

 

He has a lot to make up for. 

 

He taps his fingers against Benihime’s hilt, ignoring the irritated flare of reitsu he feels in response and releases a breathe he hadn't known he was holding in. He lets his lungs inflate slowly. 

 

So.  _ So  _ his  _ plan _ revolves around  _ conversion _ . 

 

If they can steal Aizen’s army out from under his nose, when the time comes to fight him there wont be anyone besides Aizen left to kill.

 

In theory. In  _ theory. _

 

Because Kisuke has to admit this plan is just a little far fetched, even by his standards.

 

From the top his ladder he watches Grimmjow, - he’s only been awake for roughly an hour, Kisuke has been keeping him sedated until he figured what to do with him - pacing back and forth with an effortless fluidity, muscles rippling with every step, yellowed teeth bared.

 

Kisuke is forcefully reminded of his adjuchas form, remembers the sight of red dripping from blade like fangs and grimaces.

 

In the corner of the training room all five of his training dummies lay in pieces, looking rather like they’d just lost a fight with an overly aggressive paper shredder. 

 

He supposes in a way they have.

 

He sighs. A good plan in theory, indeed. 

 

Kisuke wraps a hand round Benihime, allowing her endless courage and fire to seep through him, and leaps to the floor as silently as he can. 

 

It's not quiet enough. 

 

Grimmjow is on him before his feet even hit the ground, the growl that tears from the Arrancar's throat had Kisuke twisting to guard his jugular instinctively. Any fight with the Sexta Espada is first and foremost a battle of animal instincts. Kill or be killed. 

 

Kisuke thinks that, in another life, Grimmjow would have done well rather in the Gotei 13.

 

He shoves Grimmjow back with the edge of his sword guard and adjusts his hat as the Hollow skids across the ground, spitting like an enraged cat.

 

“Where the _fuck_ am I you Shinigami _cocksucker?”_ _Charming as ever,_ Kisuke thinks, in the back of his mind Benehime is ranting about lowlife peasants. She clashes with Pantera with a sharp clang that rings through his ears like the sensation of being fully submerged under water. Bringing up his other arm to block a swipe from Grimmjow's claws which are just _unfair_ , Kisuke shunpo’s backward.

 

Ironically, leaving Grimmjow Pantera was intended as a show of peace. A Demonstration that, if they had wanted him dead they would have killed him already. He should have expected that such subtlety would fly right over the hotheaded Hollow's head.  Fighting Grimmjow isn’t dissimilar to sparring with Ichigo. Both are brawlers by nature. Their unruly, flippant natures transfer into a fighting style encompassed with raw strength and recklessness. A style designed to overpower and subdue before the enemy can get a hit in edgewise.  Where Kisuke would stalk the battlefield patiently, waiting for an opening to strike at a vital point, Grimmjow or Ichigo would settle for repeated attacks to steadily beat down the opponents drive and force them to make a mistake.

 

It’s such a bastardized form of Kendo, Kisuke is kind of surprised Kuchiki Byakuya hadn't fainted on the spot the first time he’d been faced with it.

 

Darting out of the range of a recklessly aimed cero, Kisuke huffs out a chuckle. “Maa, maa Arrancar-san. It’s rude to attack your host, you know?” He sends the Hollow flying with a kick to the stomach, adjusting his grip on Benihime swiftly.

 

Grimmjow responds with a guttural snarl, and Kisuke feels a sharp thrill as their Zanpakuto meet again. 

 

Ichigo may not be made for killing, but Kisuke  _ is _ . The Omnistukido had seen to that and he can’t quite hold back a grin as their eyes meet, his own bloodlust mirrored in a stormcloud of electric blue.

 

As he slides backward, Grimmjow's eyes narrow and he pauses for just a second to take in Kisuke properly. “Tell me where I am and maybe I’ll let you live,  _ bastard. _ ” His face is painted in the blank confidence of someone who knows they are going to win, but Kisuke  _ knows _ people. 

 

One didn’t get to his level of manipulative skill without being able to tell the mentally weak from the strong after all. Kisuke wouldn’t be stood here, stranded in a past timeline with a madman to re-murder if he couldn't read body language. 

 

His lips pull back from his teeth in a sharp mockery of a smile as he eyes the too-tight grip Grimmjow has on Pantera and the defensive streak to his wide stance. 

 

This is a battle of monsters and Grimmjow knows that this time, Kisuke is the more dangerous animal. 

 

He leans against Benihime’s hilt. “You’re in Urahara Shoten. My store.” He sighs and flicks his wrist dramatically. “Don’t you like her Arrancar-san? I built her myself you know. Every last beautiful brick.” He hadn’t of course, but every act needed a bit of flair. 

 

Grimmjow grinds his teeth together, letting Patera fall slowly. “And where the fuck is that, Shinigami? Fucking Soul Society?” 

 

Grimmjow spits out the words Soul Society much like one might say ‘shithole’ of ‘place I would cut my own dick off with a butter knife before entering willingly.’

 

Kisuke is starting to think converting Starrk and Lilynette may have been easier. They aren’t quite so paranoid. Then again, Starrk is never much of anything. He probably would have opened the Garganta to Urahara Shoten himself. 

 

Note to self: Next time you accidentally time travel recruit the  _ docile _ hollows first.

 

Grimmjow flies towards him again, teeth bared when it seems Kisuke has ignored his question for too long. He rolls his shoulders and tightens his grip on his zanpakutou, smiling as once again their blades meet. Grimmjow yanks Pantera back, only to bring it swinging down towards Kisuke's head. “Answer me, Shinigami prick!”

 

Dropping into a crouch, Kisuke let’s Benihime block the blow, knocking Grimmjow back. He shunpos forward before the hollow can recover, and knocks his feet out from under him.

 

He goes to hold his sword at the Hollows throat, to force some kind of peace and hopefully get the unruly man to  _ talk _ with him. He doesn't get the chance.

 

Kisuke can’t quite hold back a sympathetic wince when, without warning, Ururu and  Jinta slam into an unsuspecting Grimmjow with devastating accuracy. The hollow is knocked out in an instant. 

 

He lets his fist unclench slowly and forces his breathing to return to normal. “Maaa you two, I was going to interrogate him you know?”

 

-

 

In the end, they just toss Ichigo down into the bunker and lock the door behind him. Kisuke only feels a little bit of guilt and pretends he doesn't hear Ichigo’s rabid swearing battering up through the floorboards.

 

Tessai - who is sitting on the trap door, Kisuke wouldn’t put it past Ichigo to try and punch his way out - greets Ishida-kun with the glint of his glasses and a glass of warm milk. It's a new thing he’s been trying in order to get Jinta to sleep earlier. It hasn’t been working but the man has found a taste for it and Kisuke doesn't care enough to intervene.   

 

Ishida takes the glass with a confused nod, clearing his throat. He glares at Kisuke from across the table. “You’re a bastard.” 

 

“Oh I  _ know _ , it’s such fun.” 

 

The ground shakes and Grimmjow roars, Ururu kicks her legs nervously. “Shouldn’t we have just killed him Tenchou-san? What if he breaks the floor” 

 

Jinta snorts “As if you could kill him, he’d eat you alive.”

 

“Y-you couldn’t do any better Jinta-kun!

 

“I could too! He’d be dead in seconds if  _ I  _ was in charge!”

 

They’re such cute little monsters. “Maa maa you two. Kurosaki-kun would be very upset with you if we killed him. He’s quite fond to him you see.”  Uryuu chokes on his milk at the bold faced lie and Ururu looks to be actually weighing the pros and cons of breaking Ichigo’s fragile heart because Kisuke has taught her  _ well _ .

 

“Why would I care what  _ Ichigo  _ wants?” Jinta scoffs like he doesn’t follow Kurosaki-kun around like a lost puppy whenever the older boy is here. 

 

Uryuu releases a sound, not unlike the groan of a man slowing dying on his bedroom floor and climbs to his feet, placing the untouched glass of milk of the table discreetly. “I’m having a bath. Call me if Kurosaki dies.” 

 

It’s unclear if he means this so he can get revenge on Grimmjow for killing his friend or so he can finally perform the disparaging monologue he's been practicing over Kurosaki-kun mutilated corpse. With the Quincy, it could honestly be either. 

 

Uryuu-kun leaves. Kisuke grabs Jinta’s hand before he can launch a salt shaker at his head and intercept a well-timed kick at the boy's shin from an angelic Ururu.

 

Ah, parenthood. Such joy.

 

It only takes about two hours before Tessai is pulling up the trap door and hauling the two half-dead brats out of the bunker by the scruffs of their necks. Grimmjow makes a valiant effort at resisting, swiping at Tessai half-heartedly. Ichigo’s slaps him and the hollow looks like he probably would have been less offended by a knife to the throat. 

 

“Did you just  _ bitch slap  _ me, Shinigami?” Tessai tosses the two of them down on the pile of blankets they’d prepared earlier and the Hollow rises onto his elbows, glowering. 

 

“It’s  _ Ichigo _ . And I mean, you are a bitch. So yeah.” 

 

Kisuke ushers the two youngest out of the room as Grimmjow falls just short of launching himself at Kurosaki-kun in a pitiful attempt to strangle the boy to death and honestly, Kisuke can relate to that feeling. Instead, he lands flat of his face with a groan, muscles twitching. Kurosaki cackles and yelps when Grimmjow finally manages to wrap his fingers around his neck.

 

Kisuke is honestly kind of impressed he manages it with two broken legs, a twisted ankle, and a dislocated shoulder. A lot can be said for a Hollow's tenacity he supposes. Well, that and Ichigo’s pure, unrivaled skill at pissing people off. 

 

He sips at his milk. Mission One complete.

 

Kind of.

 

-

 

The somehow manage to convinGrimmjowjow into a low level gigai. Ichigo still isn't quite sure how but he  _ is  _  very glad. It's now considerably  harder for the hollow to go out and kill some poor unsuspecting humans and Ichigo is kind of fine with that honestly. He doesn't really look any different, minus the mask and hollow hole, and even if he tries to start a fight with Ichigo in this form there's no forgetting how the first thing he did in his new body was stub his toe and scream.

 

He wishes he'd got pictures.

 

Anyway. Grimmjow is basically incapacitated and Ichigo is living his best life.

 

Until Rukia turns up.

 

He  _ knows _ logically that being a Rukongai brat originally, most of Rukia’s goodie-two-shoes Kuchiki act is just that. An act. But it’s really only around Renji that Ichigo ever gets to see her rougher side.

 

However , the Hollow and the Shinigami spend barely half an hour together before they're at eachothers throats, Ichigo watching wide eyed as Rukia attacks - as far as she knows, a  _ civilian _ \- with the ferocity of a lioness protecting her pride.

 

Ichigo knows Grimmjow is a pain in the ass but  _ damn _ . 

 

Ishida looks a few seconds away from pulling out popcorn and Ichigo smacks him round the back of his head until he helps Ichigo pull the two a part. Rukia is still snarling an hour later when he’s finally managed to drag the two of them down into the clinic. 

 

If he pulls the bandages a little tight and slaps the plasters on a little harder than necessary, they know better than to point it out. 

 

He sends Rukia to bed and escorts Grimmjow home - less out of courtesy and more out of fear of the hollow ending up in jail - muttering under his breath the whole time.

 

Grimmjow scratches at a plaster on his hand and Ichigo smacks him.

 

“What part of laying low didn't you understand  _ asshole?” _

 

“What the hell made you think I’d listen to a damn word you said,  _ shinigami.” _ Ichigo twitches and reminds himself that strangling a man in public is illegal, and that his sisters need him free and not in prison for murder.

 

“You  _ agreed!” _

 

Grimmjow snorts derisively. “I  _ lied.  _ I don't see what the fucking problem is anyway. She’s on your side ain't she?” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Besides, I  _ liked _ her. She’s spunky.” 

 

Ichigo tugs at his hair. “You we strangling her. You  _ pulled her hair _ !” 

 

The hollow frowns. “She gave just as good back why don't you bitch at her instead?”

 

Ichigo growls as they approach their destination. "You started it!"/

 

"She started it with her  _shitty attitude._ " Ichigo has never heard a sentence more hypocritical.

 

He plants his foot on the bastards ass and launches him through the front door of Urahara Shoten. “Your Hollow asshole is home!”

 

He’d replace the door panels later.

 

-

 

The thing about having Grimmjow back and kind of on their side is that Ichigo spends most of his time in a perpetual state of  _ pissed off.  _ They fought  _ so well _ together it was kind of crazy but the minute they were of the battle field Ichigo went from one to  _ ‘I’m going to fucking kill you’  _  in about half a second. He paces the few steps across his bedroom floor and spins around to mirror it in the opposite direction. 

 

Ishida rolls his eyes, penciling out the answers to his homework absently. 

 

It’s just, he’s  _ so _ fucking infuriating. It’s always ‘ _ Hey Kurosaki are you even fucking trying? You fight like a plus bitch two hours dead!’  _ or _ ‘Kurosaki how the fuck much longer are you going to shower the rest of us need to get clean some time this century!”  _

 

And Rukia  _ likes  _ him! Ichigo relives the short stab of betrayal he’d felt and that revelation with a groan. They actually got on like a house on fire and that was when Ichigo knew this timeline was fucked beyond measure. They played  _ Shogi _ together!

 

“-saki. Kurosaki!” A pencil hits him between the eyes and he flails, snarling at a blank faced Ishida. 

 

“Stop thinking about your pet and do your homework. If we have to spend another hour in detention because you’re lazy I will feed you to Grimmjow myself.” The Ishida pauses, ignoring Ichigo’s protests that ‘ _ He wouldn’t touch Grimmjow with a ten foot pole’  _ to adjust his glasses. “Maybe not Grimmjow, that would be... questionable. Another Hollow then.”

 

Ichigo splutters. “Questionable! What the hell do you mean by  _ that _ asshole.” 

 

Ishida raises an eyebrow like Ichigo couldn't have asked a more stupid question if he’d tried and turns back to his homework. Ichigo scoffs and drops to the floor, considering pursuing the argument for a few moments before ultimately deciding its not worth it. 

 

He grabs his maths book. “We’re  _ thirty _ .”

 

“Thirty year olds with _ homework _ and better things to do with their free time that scrubbing  _ chalkboards _  and sulk about Hollows  _bullying_ us , _ Kurosaki.” _

 

Ichigo huffs reply ready, but deflates at the sharp look in the Quincy's eyes. “Spar with me after.” He demands. 

 

Ishida eyes him over the rim of his glasses. “God. You’re becoming the same person. That’s not healthy you know.” 

 

Ichigo thinks he’s fully justified in throwing himself at the Quincy to swipe that shit-eating grin of his face.

 

-

  
  


So the problem with accidental time travel is you don't get to chose when you land. And they had landed  _ just a little to late. _

 

Kuchiki Rukia already has the Hogyoku. Kisuke downs his coffee, rubbing at his temples. Tessai hovers at the doorway, unable to do much to help but still wanting to stay just in case.

 

Kuchiki Rukia already has the Hogyoku. Okay. Okay… that's fine. It gives them a little less time to prepare to be sure but he's worked on a shorter time schedule before. He’d wanted to gather more of the Arrancar before Aizen made his move but this was  _ fine.  _ He could handle it.  So what could he _do_? He needed to move faster now, of course, there was nothing to be done. But what move to make?

 

Ichigo hadn’t taken Rukia’s powers this time, there hadn't been a need for it, but Aizen had the Gotei 13 in his pocket at this point and Kisuke had no doubt there would still be a call for the youngest Kuchiki’s arrest. 

 

Kurosaki-kun would hunt down Rukia, there was no preventing that, Ishida would follow and most concerningly now, Kisuke wasn't sure that Grimmjow wouldn't  _ also  _ follow. 

 

And wouldn’t that be a mess. Kisuke was in enough trouble with Seireitei without letting loose a blood thirsty hollow into their midst. 

 

They didn't have enough people on their side right now. They were strong, yes, but not strong  _ enough _ . 

 

He had to move  _ now.  _ He had to- 

 

“Oi Geta-Boshi?”

 

Kisuke blinks, lamenting the metaphorical chess board that fades slowly from his mind at the interruption. Ichigo stares him down, his lips turned down into that worried from his does when he thinks one of his friends are hurting. Kisuke smiles. 

 

“Kurosaki- kun! How are you to-”

 

“Shinigami.” He eyes the Quincy reclined on his sofa, looking for all the world like they aren’t in the middle of a giant catastrophe right now. It's a testament to Kisuke's current state of mind that he hadn't even seen the two arrive. There’s a shrill shriek from down the hall way and Kisuke gets a glimpse of Ururu thrown over Grimmjow’s shoulder as they fly through the shop.

 

“Maa maa, Ishida-kun-” He pauses again, wondering if he should be incensed by all the interruptions when Ichigo’s palm lands on his shoulder. 

 

“It’s fine Geta-boshi.” He has that one expression that means trouble. Mostly for Soul society and its more …  _ conservative  _ members. “Aizen can get Rukia in to soul society. We’ll just have to break her out again.”

 

He wonders is the boy is being purposely obtuse. “We are meant to be lying low this time, are we not, Kurosaki-kun?” 

 

Ichigo rolls his eyes. “It’s  _ fine _ . We’ll just have to be stealthy this time.”

 

Ishida laughs loudly clutching his stomach in a dramatic display and Ichigo sends him a glare when it lingers for a little too long. Grimmjow thunders through the door with Pantera raised threateningly and kicks over a lamp. “We’re out of sugar.” 

 

Ichigo presses a palm to his face and Ishida wheezes. Kisuke sighs. This was going to end so very poorly and they were all going to die. 

 

“That was my favourite lamp.”


	4. Drastic Times Call for Fuel to the Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lmao I didnt die. Grimm just might tho. If he keeps it up.

Urahara looks  _ far  _ too pleased with himself. 

 

Uryuu glances at Kurosaki from the corner of his eyes, gratified to find a similar expression of wariness on the Shinigami substitutes face. On the other side of room, Grimmjow is positioned stiffly at the dining table, Ururu sitting at his feet. Jinta sits swinging his legs, tossing balled up pieces of paper at Grimmjow when he isn't looking. 

 

Uryuu isn't sure what he’s seeing. Urahara  _ made  _ it and Uryuu doesn't think even  _ he _ knows what he's looking at. 

 

Ichigo clears his throat. “So what the hell-”

 

Urahara interrupts before Kurosaki can finish, batting the resultant scowl away with an illuminating grin. The former captain cackles and Uryuu spots Grimmjow pushing up out of his chair to position himself a little further away. Is seems the Hollow has a modicum of sense afterall.

 

Not that it takes a genius to realise Urahara Kisuke's crazy.

 

“I'm so glad you noticed my masterpiece, Kurosaki-kun!” Urahara says as if  _ anyone _ could miss the giant floating mass of shadows, hovering in the center of their living room. Uryuu squints into the darkness. He notices that it’s covering the sofa he usually claims as his own. Because of course it is. He makes a mental note to buy new furniture when whatever  _ this  _ is, is over. 

 

“Because you all asked so nicely, i've decided to make my own portal to Hueco Mundo, it's completely, at least 45% safe!” 

 

Urahara beams into the silence. Uryuu pinches Kurosaki's arm to make sure they aren't dreaming. 

 

His hand is quickly slapped away and he dodges a swipe to his head, kicking out his foot in retaliation.

 

Kurosaki shoves him away and presses his palm over his face. “ _ Literally nobody asked you to do this.” _

 

Uryuu adjusts his glasses.  _ “ _ Are you forgetting what happened the  _ last _ time you decided untested experiments with time and space were a good idea? It  _ feels  _ like you’re forgetting what happened last time.”

 

Urahara continues on like they had never spoken, clapping his hands together. “Byakuya-kun is coming for Rukia-chan in a few days. Passing through Hueco Mundo is the easiest way of getting to Seireitei… illegally.” His tone lifts like he’s about to say something they should be happy about. They are swiftly proven wrong. “And you can pick up the other Arrancar on the way! It's a perfect plan and you're very welcome!” 

 

Tessai pats his boss on the shoulder proudly. Grimmjow finally notices Jinta throwing wads of paper at him and throws himself across the table, not above choking out a 12 year old child. Tessai intervenes quietly, punching Grimmjow in the throat and grabbing Jinta by the back of his shirt. He pads out of the room with a sulking Jinta tucked under his arms and Ururu at his heels.

 

Kurosaki rubs the bridge of his nose. “Urahara.” 

 

“Yes!” 

 

“We  _ have _ a  _ hollow  _ who can make a  _ garganta.”  _  He says flatly. 

 

From his position in the corner of the room, crouched on the floor, rubbing his throat, as far away from Urahara as possible, Grimmjow snarls. “You don't have  _ shit _ , shinigami!”

 

Uryuu wonders what exactly he did in his past life to deserve having to deal with such assholes on a daily basis. He contemplates the possibility of past genocide as Grimmjow catches Kurosaki in a headlock. Watching the two wrestle blankly, he clears his throat. “Regardless, I certainly have  _ no _ intention of going in to…  _ that” _ He gestures vaguely to the blob at the rooms center.

 

Kurosaki and Grimmjow, locked in a violent embrace, pause to nod rapidly. He takes a second to revel in the novelty of them all being in agreement for  _ once.  _

 

“I agree with the prissy bitch- “ Uryuu reminds himself that he is a grown man who doesn’t respond to playground insults. If Grimmjow and Kurosaki want to roll around in the dirt like children they can do so, but he is above such actions. “- I ain’t touching that shit with a ten foot pole. It’s not even slightly a fucking garganta.”

 

Kurosaki's eyebrow twitches and he sends the Hollow a dark glare. “Who the hell gave you a fucking invite, bastard!” 

 

“Like hell you're leaving me behind with these freaks, Shinigami!” 

 

Urahara pouts. “Those freaks  _ feed you _ .”

 

He is soundly ignored. 

 

Uryuu never fails to be impressed by Grimmjow's sheer single mindedness when it comes to anything related to Kurosaki Ichigo. The shouting starts and he takes that as his cue to leave. He heads for the door and pulls on his shoes, patting Ururu on the head on his way out.

 

He throws his bag over his shoulder, grabbing Kurosaki’s as well. He would probably forget it otherwise, his IQ went down to a 10 after any interaction with Grimmjow Jeagerjaques. 

 

“Call me if they kill each other.” 

 

-

 

Kisuke knows that Kurosaki-kun is going to be furious before he even states his plan. It’s why calls the meeting in the early hours of the morning. So the shinigami substitute has the whole day to recover and - hopefully - come around to Kisuke's way of thinking.

 

And he expects an argument because Kurosaki-kun is nothing if not fiercely loyal to the ones he considers his friends, - infact, he expects that's the only reason he’s still standing and  _ not _ black and blue - intentionally placing one of them in harm's way is a sure fire way of getting in his bad books.

 

He _ doesn't  _ expect the silent anger he gets in actuality. A glance at the still startled Uryu tells Kisuke he wasn’t alone in his surprise. 

 

Kurosaki Ichigo is loud in most things he does and his anger is no different. There are some obvious exceptions to the rule, when he’s helping the twins with homework or when he’s drawing are the first two to come to mind, but loud and blunt are two of the main ways Kisuke would describe the younger man. 

 

This is why the realization of quite how badly they have upset him, when the man turns on his and storms out of the room like a swarm of darkening thunder clouds, fit to burst, is quite so stark.

 

He sips at his tea.

 

As he see it, he has two options. Leave well enough alone and wait for the other to cool off, or… meddle. 

 

There’s an obvious answer. 

 

Uryu glances at him warily. “You’re going to make things worse.”

 

“How distrusting of you Ishida-kun.”

 

“I think at this point we can just call it sensible.”

  
  


-

 

Ichigo knows it's coming and he is  _ still _ fucking furious. He’s fucking furious with Urahara for his lack of fucking empathy. He’s fucking furious for Uryu with  _ agreeing _ with the bastard and he’s  fucking  _ furious  _ that he was overruled and that he had to let Rukia become the Hogyoku vessel at  _ all. _

 

It's too  _ risky. Way _ too risky. They might not get there in time.Hell, they might have changed the fucking timeline or whatever. Not to mention that Urahara wanted them to go on some bullshit fucking mission to fucking collect the Arrancar like they’re some kind of fucking  _ pokemon _ .

 

Rukia might  _ die _ because fucking Ishida and Urahara think her life is something that can be  _ played _ with. And  _ fuck-  _

 

Ichigo slams his fist into the wall of the training room, gritting his teeth through the pain. He breathes deeply and shakes out his hand. 

 

They shouldn't be taking this risk. They have not reason to be taking this risk. They could have taken Rukia back easily, kept her safe from Aizen and killed the bastard when he tried to take her from him. Easily.

 

Instead they were playing the  _ long game _ like the bastard wouldn't realise something was wrong the minute the took Rukia back with a  _ Hollow _ at their side. Because of  _ course _ if everyone else was gonna piss him of Grimmjow wasn’t gonna miss the opportunity to join in and force his way on to this little fucking  _ expedition _ .

 

“Wall piss you off, Shinigami?” He doesn't jump but its a near thing, because speak of the fucking devil. 

 

“ _ Fuck. Off.”  _

 

There’s a snort and when Grimmjow doesn't even slightly fuck off, Ichigo spins round aggressively, bloody fist clenching and unclenching interchangeably. 

 

“Jaegerjaquez i'm serious. Now is _not the time.”_

 

“What? Is this  _ your  _ training room now? Didn’t know you fucking built it. Or do you think you’re the only one allowed to use it? Pretty fucking selfish of you, shinigami.” 

 

Ichigo tenses when the hollow steps forwards again, only to be left off kilter when he is bypassed without pause. He watches, infuriated and incredulous as his kind-of-enemy drops into a squat and begins stretching. 

 

Ichigo scowls when he’s hit with the completely irrational thought that, if Grimmjow is going to be here in his space he should at least be  _ paying attention to him. _ He shakes his head and forces himself to take a deep breath. 

 

Instead of pushing and prodding and provoking like he  _ wants _ to he pointedly turns on his heel and strides to the opposite corner of the bunker.  

 

They warm up in silence. It’s the most uncomfortable he’s felt in the Hollows presence, at least in this timeline and his blood boils. Grimmjow has no right barging in here, throwing his weight around like he always does.  Ichigo had come here to  _ relax _ for fucks sakes. 

 

“Oi Kurosaki. Let’s spar.”

 

Any calm Ichigo has managed to grasp in those last few minutes is stripped away almost instantaneously. He grits his teeth. “ _ Piss Off _ Grimmjow, I’m not fucking fighting you.” He says, actually thinking for a moment that he might be given the choice. 

 

Grimmjow has darted towards him before he even finishes his sentence, Pantera left leaning against the wall, because apparently the hollow wants to beat the shit out of his with his bare hands today.  He snarls, meets Grimmjow's fist with his forearm and shunpo’s away.

 

“Running Kurosaki? Finally admitting you’re too weak to face me?”

 

He’s not going to respond. He’s  _ not _ going to respond.  _ He’s not-.  _ He’s moving before he even realises it, Zangetsu forgotten in the blind, animalistic rage only Grimmjow seems to be capable of creating. They slam to the floor with a grunt and Grimmjow chokes out a laugh. Ichigo slams his fist into his face as hard as he possibly can, snarling when he’s flipped and an arm catches him in a choke hold.

 

He doesn’t even know how much time passes.And then Grimmjow throws him across the room and Ichigo is able to catch him by the ankle. He’s laughs, breathy and happy when the hollow’s face slams into the floor, throwing an arm over his face. 

 

“‘Bout fucking time you were done sulking, Shinigami.” The hollow flops down next to him with a groan. Ichigo slaps his chest halfheartedly. 

 

“Fuck off.” 

 

“What? Not gonna fucking thank me. Ungrateful bitch.” Ichigo rolls his eyes but finds it hard to feel angry. Grimmjow seems to have actually beaten the anger out of him. Brought him down from incandescent rage like it was nothing which is  _ not _ something he’s going to sit here and analyse. 

 

Ichigo is many things and someone who is comfortable analyzing his emotions is not one of them. He huffs and itches his eye with the palm of his hand.

 

“Wanna get food?”

 

“Fuck yes.”

 

-

 

The thing about Kurosaki - as far as Grimmjow is concerned -i is that he’s a little bitch. He throws tantrums about things Grimmjow wouldn't bat an eyelid at. He’s almost killed Grimmjow for coming in through his bedroom window unannounced before for fucks sakes. How was  _ he _ supposed to know that it was polite to go through the fucking door? It was hardly  _ his _ fault Kurosaki was weird about things like  _ privacy _ or whatever.

 

He’s also  _ emotional _ . So emotional it’s kind of disgusting. He’s cries over stupid TV shows and you had better believe he’s laughed himself sick over that the first time. Grimmjow had walked in on him an Uryuu watching some movie and sharing a tub of ice cream. It took them  _ five _ minutes to even realise he was there. He could have  _ killed _ them.

 

About a month ago he  _ would  _ have.

 

But there’s something about the  _ not _ shinigami that makes Grimmjow want to  _ pay attention. _

 

And if that didn't  _ piss him the fuck off _ the first time he’d noticed it.Still did actually. But Kurosaki was someone  _ worthy _ of his attention. Aizen had approached him with the promise of power, had  _ given _ him the means of rising from shitty adjuchas to arrancar.  But Kurosaki, stupid, cries-at-movies-with-dogs-in-them Kurosaki, somehow inspired more loyalty than anyone else  _ ever had. _

 

Okay loyalty might be pushing it. But he certainly wasn’t about to let any other fucker kill the bastard before  _ he _ gets the chance. 

 

Kurosaki is  _ his kill. _ He’d die before he lets anyone forget that. 

 

-

 

Kurosaki has never been very good at staying angry. Even during all out war he’d always been more focused on results, on helping survivors and eliminating threats, that he ever was on all out fury.

 

It’s why Uryu isn’t surprised to see the Shinigami outside Urahara Shoten when he gets back from school. Kurosaki had never shown up, but given the his mood when Uryu had last seen him, he hadn't really expected him to. 

 

He takes in the substitutes relaxed form and raises his eyebrows. “You certainly cooled down faster than usual.” He takes the boxed bento he’s offered and tucks it in to his bag. A peace offering. Uryu is relieved. It had almost been time to set Yuzu on him. She had a new recipe she’d been working on. A few hours in the kitchen with his little sister would have sorted him out. Apparently it was unnecessary.

 

Kurosaki scratches the back of his head, following Uryu through the door. “Ah, I had a little help.” 

 

Uryu waits for the other to elaborate. Urahara materializes before he can.

 

“Oho is that what we call it these days Kurosaki-kun?” Kurosaki twitches at the tone, wrinkle on his forehead deepening. “Grimmjow certainly seemed to-” 

 

Uryu winces as the Shopkeeper goes flying back. Kurosaki has gone bright red. Uryu doesn't want to know. “I don't want to know.” He says.

 

Kurosaki splutters. “There’s nothing  _ to _ know asshole!”

 

A door slams open at the end of the corridor and Grimmjow hollers, “Oi shut the fuck up, some of us are sleeping!”

 

“It’s four in the afternoon!”

 

There is the sound of feet stomping down the hallway and Grimmjow snarls, “You wanna fucking go again Shinigami. Cause we can go again!”

 

Uryu pinches his nose. 

 

Assholes.

 

All of them.


	5. Measure Twice, Cut the Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul society isn't gonna know what hit 'em

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been ten years.

The thing about Hueco Mundo, is that Uryu doesn't even really  _ hate _ Hueco Mundo. It’s a endless desert of death, which he supposes  _ some _ people might disapprove of, and it’s full of hollows but again that’s only a minor inconvenience. 

 

After barely three hours wading through black sand - trying not to sink in and waiting desperately for  _ Kurosaki _ to sink in - what Uryu quickly realises is that he hates the  _ people. _

 

And by the people he means Kurosaki and Jeagerjaques. 

 

And by hates he means  _ despises _ .

 

And by despises he means that if he has to listen to these to assholes argue for another two weeks, he’s going to snap and kill them both before they even get to Seireitei. And then Urahara would have to deal with Aizen himself which quite frankly would serve him right. 

 

There’s a snarl and Uryu steps back to avoid a cloud of sand-dust as Grimmjow darts for Kurosaki’s hair. The crash to the ground and Uryu spots the head of a few curious adjuchas popping up over sand dunes.

 

Count to twenty, Uryuu, count - to - twenty. 

 

He adjusts his glasses, dodges around the tangled ball of aggression and questionable hormones and marches determinedly on. 

 

If he’s lucky they’ll be so wrapped up in eachother that an adjuchas can get the jump on them.

 

It’s truly the death they deserve. 

 

-

 

Tessai watches his boss fiddle with the wiring on one of his newer machines. He doesn't even pretend to understand what it does, but he  _ does _ recognise when the man is anxious and trying to hide it.

 

“Tessai, be a dear and pass me that allen key.” There's a pause and Tessai waits a few seconds for the genius' brain to catch up with his mouth and realise he has know idea what an Allen Key is. “The long one, hexagonal.” 

 

Tessai hums, passing over the desired tool. He pulls out his tea set and pulls up a chair, settling into it quietly. He’s worked for Urahara Kisuke for long enough to know that this is merely hour three of  _ many.  _ When he get's into one of these moods it's really best to leave him to it. If it lasts too long though, Tessai isn't above force feeding him and tying him to a bed so he can get some rest.

 

“Tea, sir?” He already has a mug of peppermint poured, fairly certain of his tenchou choice. 

 

“I’ve told you to drop the formalities, Tessai-san. Green.” Tessai waits. “No, no, peppermint.” He can’t quite suppress a pleased smile as he places the tea cup down.  

 

“Ah, but you are my Tenchou.”  That comment earns him Kisuke’s full attention in the form of a displeased frown. He smiles back, unwrapping a packet of biscuits. 

 

“You’ve served me for long enough to earn my  _ name _ , Tessai.” And he really is in a bad mood. Tessai snaps a biscuit in half and places one half beside Kisuke’s cup of peppermint tea. He knows that the only thing that has ever really been able to shake Urahara Kisuke’s famous composure is  _ worry _ , and with his kids - because they might as well be his kids at this point - in Hueco Mundo on a b-line to Soul Society, Tessai can’t be surprised at the man’s foul mood.

 

He sighs softly, as Kisuke snaps a piece of wiring and swears, as vocal about his anger as he ever gets. 

 

It isn't as if he doesn’t  _ want _ informality with Kisuke, of course he does, he's given his time, and his power and his devotion to this man for the better half of a century it can hardly come as surprise that he’s ready to offer him his  _ heart _ as well.

 

But the fact of the matter is, Tessai hasn’t  _ earned _ that. Not with  _ this _ Kisuke. Not with  _ this _ man with a decade of despair and life and growth that Tessai was not there to witness. To  _ support _ . 

 

But Urahara Kisuke has always been one to get his own way. Tessai settles on a compromise. 

 

“Urahara-san, then.” 

 

Kisuke huffs, his hair is tousled and his hat is askew, Tessai has to pause and let a wave of affection rush over him. 

 

“Stubborn as ever.” Tessai doesn’t point out the sheer hypocrisy of that statement. 

 

“Drink your tea, Urahara-san.”

 

-

 

Grimmjow falls asleep and Ichigo drops to the ground with a groan, finally able to relax without the near-feral Hollow agitating him at every moment. He drags his palm over his face and glances over at Ishida who’s been something of a dark cloud ever since they’d stepped through the garganta and into the dark plains of Hueco Mundo.

 

Not that he doesn’t understand  _ why. _

 

They’re used to running  _ from _ Soul Society not towards it.  Let alone trying to sneak in. It would be something of a suicide mission for anyone else. But if they could break in ten years ago and come back alive, this really ought to be a piece of cake.

 

“So we’re entering through Rukongai right?” He waits for Ishida to finish his page and bookmark it. 

 

“Ah. District 80 ideally. The shinigami aren’t likely to notice us entering.” Ishida mutters disdainfully. There’s something about the sheer vastness they’re surrounded by that makes them want to keep the silence. Unless you’re Grimmjow, who wouldnt know silence if it mugged him in a dark alley.

 

Not that the hollow being obnoxious and loud is a surprise to anyone. 

 

“We might stand out a bit.” A lot. They would stand out a lot. Ichigo has only been there  _ once _ and he’s not looking forward to going back. Ichigo had thought hell was in Hueco Mundo, but he'd started to question that when he'd seen the state of the lower districts.

 

Ishida shifts, crossing his legs and leaning his chin into the palm of his hand. 

 

“Irrelevant. The shinigami don’t keep watch over such districts in Rukon, least of all the Zaraki district.” Ichigo winces and Ishida sneers. “It’s  _ beneath them.” _

 

He’s not wrong. Ichigo can count on one hand the number of shinigami who would willingly patrol through Rukongai below level 40, and even fewer than that would patrol  _ Zaraki _ .

 

One being its namesake. But Kenpachi is  _ captain _ , he’s no longer permitted to patrol however he likes, such duties are left to unseated officers. 

 

Ichigo and Ishida don’t agree on many things, but their frustration at the way the souls who end up in the lower districts are treated is one of these things. Urahara had once speculated that there are more deaths in districts lower than 40 than shinigami killed by hollows. 

 

Which is more than slightly depressing. 

 

He rubs his eyes. “Want me to take first watch?” 

 

“Unnecessary. I won't be able to sleep yet.” 

 

Ichigo snorts. “You won't be able to sleep later either.” 

 

Ishida shrugs and opens his book again, Ichigo squints at the title. “Are you reading  _ ‘The Art of War’?” _

 

“Some of us use  _ tactics _ instead of storming in like a cat who’s had it’s tail stepped on,  _ Kurosaki. _ ” Ichigo makes a face. 

 

“I can be tactical.” Ishida doesn't respond and Ichigo scowls. “I  _ can!” _

 

“For the love of all that’s good in this world, go to sleep, Kurosaki. Be kind enough to give me a few hours of silence before I have to put up with the two of you again, tomorrow.” 

 

Ichigo huffs and flips Ishida his middle finger, gratified to hear Ishida’s furious snarl. He flop onto his side, stretching his reitsu out until it brushes against Ishida’s own, and lets his eyes fall on the rich blue of Grimmjow’s hair. 

 

He can almost  _ hear _ Ishida roll his eyes. “Don’t trust me to keep you alive, Kurosaki?”

 

“Don’t be stupid.” He just needs to make sure everyone is  _ there. _ Not he’s tell Ishida that. “Wake me in a few hours.”

 

-

 

“This is it.” Uryu says, glancing down at the weird, Urahara compass in his hands. It’s flashing intermittently and every few seconds Urahara’s voice blares from its speakers. ‘ _ You’ve found it! Hooray! You’ve found it!’ _

 

He contemplates the intelligence of smashing it under his heel. Kurosaki leans over his shoulder, frowning down at the machine. “You sure?” 

 

Uryu sends him a blank look and Jeagerjaques snorts. “No Kurosaki. I’m lying and Urahara’s machine is screaming for no reason.” 

 

Kurosaki turns red and Grimmjow says something derogatory. “It’s not like it would be the first time Urahara fucked up!” 

 

Uryu rolls his eyes. “Only one way to find out. The quicker we’re in the quicker we’re out. Oh and Kurosaki, do me a favour and at least  _ try _ and suppress that monstrous spiritual pressure of yours.”

 

Grimmjow guffaws and Kurosaki’s eyebrow twitches. “Shut up! I can fucking do it, asshole!” 

 

The hollow grins. “Go on then bitch. This should be fucking entertaining.”

 

Kurosaki snarls and drops to the ground, legs crossed and forehead creased in concentration. Uryu pulls out his book, content to wait. Jaegerjaquez drops down opposite and leans forward until their noses are almost touching, just to be a dick and break whatever meager concentration Kurosaki has managed to gather. 

 

They wait and few minutes and nothing happens.

 

_ “You’ve found it! Hooray! You’ve found it!”  _

 

Kurosaki snarls. “Can’t you turn that damn thing off!”

-

  
  


Almost four hours later, they step through the garganta. Ichigo lands on his ass and Grimmjow trips straight over his sprawled out body, falling onto his face. Ishida steps through with all the grace of a dancer, radiating an aura of smug that makes Ichigo want to plant his foot in his face. 

 

So he does. 

 

Ishida flails, avoiding full impact by an inch. He huffs and steps away, brushing nonexistent dirt off his shoulders.  “Once you’ve finished being childish, we should scout the area.” He glances over at Grimmjow who has begun pushing himself up from the floor, rubbing his nose. 

 

“We are also going to need to find new clothes.” He says, looking pointedly as Grimmjow's uncovered Hollow hole. 

 

“We don't have any money.” Ichigo says, hauling himself up and peeking his head around the corner of the alley they’ve arrived in. 

 

“So we’ll just fucking steal it Kurosaki, don’t be a pussy.” Grimmjow bares his teeth is a mocking sneer. Ichigo scowls.

 

“We can’t  _ steal _ from innocent souls!”

 

Ishida rolls his eyes. “What so breaking and entering is fine, but thievery is where you draw the line?” 

 

“Central 46 are dicks! The lower districts have it rough enough as it is!” It makes, Ichigo’s skin crawl, the thought of stealing from a soul who’s been abandoned in this shit pit of Soul Society. 

 

“Look Kurosaki. Here are your options, steal from some poor soul, or let central 46 decapitate Kuchiki Rukia.”

 

He growls and runs his fingers through his hair. “Fucking fine! But we aren’t taking more than we need!”

 

Grimmjow rolls his shoulders and pops his crick in his neck. “Can we fucking go? I’m bored as shit, you promised me some murder” 

 

“Literally no one said anything amount murder, you psycho.” 

 

Ishida steps out of the alley, patience apparently hitting a wall. “You two are going to get us discovered. Join me when you decide it's time to be  _ adults.” _

 

-

 

Juushirou eyes his partner quietly. Shunsui has been quietly filling out his paperwork for almost an hour. For any other captain this might be an ordinary thing, but Shunsui has certainly never claimed to be ordinary. Juushirou clears his throat and places his sake down. 

 

“Do you intend to tell me what’s wrong?” Shunsui pauses, glancing up from his work with a wry smile. 

 

“Ah, you caught me.” He places his brush down. “And here I thought I was hiding it well.” 

 

He can’t quite hold back a snort. “I’ve known you for centuries, Shun.” Not to mention that if the other man truly didn’t want him to know something, he’s not entirely sure he would be able to discover it. 

 

Shunsui laughs. It’s a rough thing and it makes Juushirou’s skin its, like a cat whose fur has been stroked backwards. “I visited Kuchiki Rukia today.” 

 

“Ah.” 

 

“Ah, indeed. Something about this isn’t right Juushiro.” Juushirou agrees, tapping his fingers against the wood of his Kotatsu. He’s known Kuchiki Rukia for a long time, his lieutenant had been fond of her, trained her even. She was polite to a fault if not bullheaded oft times. But she wasn’t a criminal. Juushirou had a hard time picturing her committing  _ any  _ crime, let alone something so serious as giving her powers to a  _ human child. _

 

“Did she say anything?” 

 

Shunsui sighs. “Nothing of use. And she  _ is _ hiding something.” 

  
  


“And her Reiatsu?” Shunsui sighs, picking his brush up again, signing his signature in the corner of a sheet of paper.

 

“Gone.”

 

-

 

“Damnit Rukia! Would you fucking talk to me!” His best friend for almost a century squeezes her eyes shut and looks away. And fuck she looks so scared. If he can just find out  _ what happened.  _ “I can’t help you if you don't  _ talk to me!” _

 

She says nothing and Renji can feel the rage set in. She’s meant to trust him. He’s meant to be able to trust  _ her. _ He wraps his fist tightly around the bars of her prison - Prison! Like she's some goddammned common  _ criminal _ \- until his knuckles turn white. 

 

Kuchiki-taichou still hasn’t visited, he knows. Probably  _ won't _ visit and Renji is torn between the incredible respect he holds for the man and the incandescent fury of what he’s doing to Rukia. Because they could have prevented this. Could have pretended they couldn’t find her, could have  _ killed _ the human who got her into this mess!

 

Shame sits heavy in his chest. He had arrested her.  _ Renji had arrested her. _

 

“Fuckin’ fine, stay silent.” He chews on his lip till it bleeds. “Fuckin’ fine!” 

 

He spins around and storms out of the hall, furious at himself and at taichou. Furious at Rukia who seems to have no interest in saving herself. Furious at the tear welling up in his eyes. 

 

He’s gonna save her. Whether she fucking wants it or not.  

 

He’s a Rukon brat after all. Rukia might be desperate to forget her origins but Renji won't. 

 

Especially when the skills he’d been forced to learn are the very skills that might help him fix this stupid fucking situation. 

 

-

 

Grimmjow glares down at the clothing in front of him like it’s about to grow legs and kick his ass. Ishida rolls his eyes midway through pulling on his own Kimono without nearly as much fuss. 

 

“It’s not gonna kill you, you know.” Ichigo says flatly, trying to decide if this particular waste of time is amusing or annoying. Grimmjow looks seconds away from stamping his feet. 

 

“What the hell is wrong with what i’m already wearing.” 

 

Ichigo eyes the bare chest in front of him. “You’re pretty much naked.” The hollow scowls.

 

“Yeah, you’d fucking like that, shinigami.” Ichigo splutters, swiping at the bastard with Zangetsu.

 

“Like hell, Asshole!” 

  
  


Ishida sighs. “Kurosaki’s preferences aside, you’re hollow hole is likely to cause mass panic. We aren’t here to cause a scene.” The Quincy steps back to avoid the hilt of Ichigo’s blade and he scowls. 

 

Grimmjow huffs. “Why the hell not. Mass panic is fucking fun. ‘Specially when its weaklings.” 

 

“Just put the fucking kimono on, jesus christ!” 

 

“You don’t have to get changed!”

 

“I’m already wearing a shihakusho.” 

 

“Why can’t we get one of those instead of this silky shit!”

  
This time Ishida’s sigh is almost explosive. “We are going to be discovered  _ so quickly.” _


	6. Control the Chaos Behind the Gun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The train wreck continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didnt die

Ishida’s method of dealing with Rukongai so far is to exude such a high level of _asshole_ that no one even looks in their direction. It's either that of the aura of ' _dont fucking touch me'_ that Grimmjow is emmiting because apparently Ichigo is surrounded by dicks. One guy tries to sell them some bracelets and Ichigo is kind of surprised he doesn't burst into a ball of hate flames instantaneously.

 

Grimmjow , apparently not satisfied with the fact the poor man has definitely pissed his pants, raises a hand a slaps the merchants tray of goods to the ground.

 

He’s strongly reminded of an angry cat. Or a thug. 

 

Ichigo decides it's time to move on. 

 

They make it through the marketplace with almost no casualties, Ichigo's pride notwithstanding, and although they’ve only been walking for a few hours, Ichigo already feels like he  needs a break. 

 

For his sanity.

But honestly this is much easier than he thought it was going to be, no one seems to be overly suspicious of them and they have yet to run in to any actually Shinigami. Things are actually going well. Which never happens. Ichigo feels weird about it and honestly tries not to think to hard about it.

 

As they get further from the center of the district the number of souls begin to filter out slowly, until only a few are wandering about. The number of semi-livable shacks and almost restaurants has dropped steadily and there is less and less noise the further in they get. The amount of tension that leaves Ishida’s shoulders in almost comical.

 

And then Grimmjow kicks a bench over. Ichigo jumps and dodges and slap from Ishida. He snarls. “What the fuck, Ishida!”

 

“I wouldn't touch Jeagerjaques with a ten foot pole so I had to hit you instead.”

 

He splutters, “We aren't a  _ package deal _ , just  _ shoot  _ him!”

 

Ishida sniffs and raises an eyebrow imperiously, Ichigo wants to punch him in the mouth. “I can't believe I have to explain this to you  _ again _ , Kurosaki, but we are trying to be stealthy.” 

 

“I  _ know that- _ ” 

 

“Oi Kurosaki.”

 

“Do you really?” Ishida crosses his arms.

 

“Oi.  _ Kurosaki.” _  Ichigo spares Grimmjow a look.

 

_ “ _ Shut up for a second Grimmjow _.  _ Oh my god, Ishida you’re such a monumental  _ twat.” _

 

“I’m being fucking ignored.”

 

_ “ _ Big words Kurosaki, do you even know what that means?”

 

“ _ Kurosaki!” _

 

“ _ What Grimmjow!” “What Jeagerjaques!” _

 

“You’re causing undue chaos in the street. Move on now or we will have to use force.” 

 

Ichigo blinks, and in unison he and Ishida turn to look at the unknown Shinigami.

 

“Uh, did you sense him?” 

 

Ishida has the grace to look as embarrassed as Ichigo feels. “His power was too low to register.”

 

The patrolling shinigami huffs and reaches for his zanpakuto. Ichigo takes a second to wonder how things devolved so quickly.

 

Grimmjow scratches his jaw and Ichigo’s eyes dart to where his Hollow mask is hidden beneath the mask covering the lower half of his face. “There's a Shinigami here.”

 

Ishida ignores the patrol officer in favour of sending the hollow an incredulous look. “Thank you for that, Jaegerjaquez, I hadn't noticed. You are a truly irreplaceable member of this shitshow of a team.”

 

Grimmjow throws his hands in the air. “I  _ tried _ to tell you _ ,  _ you ungrateful  _ bastard _ .”

 

Ichigo watches the shinigami, zanpakuto now fully drawn, step forward sharply. “Cease and desist or you will have to face the consequences!” 

 

Grimmjow bares his teeth in a bloodthirsty grin. “Try it bitch, I’ve been waiting for some goddamned action all fucking day!”

 

Ichigo smacks his forehead and Ishida looks two seconds away from frothing at the mouth. “Right. Time to go.” 

 

He smiles in a way that he  _ hopes _ is apologetic and grabs Grimmjow by the back of his Kimono. “Sorry officer, my friend here has had too much to drink. We’ll just be on our way!” 

 

“Too much to drink? The only thing i’m drunk on is _ rage _ , Kurosaki, let me pound this shitfuck into the ground! That’s what we’re fucking  _ here _ for isn’t it.” 

 

Ichigo wonders if all hollows are this stupid or if Grimmjow is a special case. He clears his throat. “Like I said, drunk. We’re just gonna go back home, sorry for the trouble.” 

 

The shinigami is frowning, Ichigo smiles harder. 

 

Ishida snorts, “Stop making that face it’s creepy.” 

 

-

 

“I didn't even know Rukon  _ had _ a jail.” Ichigo presses his forehead against the rusting bar of their cell, he feels kind of like he’s in a shitty cowboy movie. If cowboy’s had swords instead of guns. And most of them were dead. And assholes.

 

“ _ That’s _ your concern?” Ishida tugs particularly hard at his knitting needle, the loops all fall of an Ichigo winces at the dark look on the quincys face. 

 

“How did you sneak your knitting in. I  _ checked _ the bag we bought and it definiately wasnt in there. And all our shit was just confiscated.” 

 

Ishida huffs. “I don't have to explain my methods to you Kurosaki. Just be glad it’s my wool I’m stabbing and not  _ you. _ ” 

 

Ichigo scowls. “This isn’t  _ my fault. _ ”

 

“If you controlled your  _ hollow _ better we wouldn't be in this mess.” 

 

He scowls harder. It’s not  _ his _ fault Grimmjow is a homicidal maniac. He glances at the corner of the room where he’s propped up an unconscious Grimmjow against the wall. They had, had to knock him out before he  _ actually  _ killed the poor Shinigami who had bought them in. 

 

They had not been in Soul society long enough to put a kill on their list. 

 

“Honestly, Kurosaki, it’s been 4 hours. We’ve been here for four hours.” 

 

“You weren't any help! You nearly outed your quincy powers just for the sake of knocking Grimmjow out!”

 

“Well, perhaps if you learned how to smile in a way that wasn't  _ insulting _ for every person who has to look at it-” 

 

Ichigo throws a rock at him. He gets a thimble to the head in return. 

 

“Seriously, where are you getting this stuff?” 

 

-

 

They are released almost two hours later and Uryuu is convinced it’s because the second Grimmjow woke up, he decided that the best way to get his revenge is to sing like a strangled cat relentlessly until all of their ears are bleeding. 

 

They are tossed to the curb and the hollow looks far too smug for his liking. Kurosaki scowls at the him and Uryuu has took look away in fear of contracting whatever weird sexual tension they have going on. 

 

“Right.” Kurosaki says, heartbreakingly optimistic. “We’ve been here for six hours and so far all we've managed to do is get arrested.  _ But _ they don't think we’re Ryoka, so we have that going for us.”

 

“The fuck is a Ryoka.” Grimmjow says kicking a pebble across the ground, it smacks into the window of the police station with brutal accuracy and Ishida watches incredulously as the glass shatters. 

 

An alarm blares. They run.

 

When they reach the edge of the Zaraki district, Kurosaki pulls out his zanpakuto and smacks the hollow over the head. “Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you?”

 

“You’re one to fucking talk about  _ issues _ Kurosaki-”

 

Ishida, who at this point has had  _ more _ than enough, smacks the both of them over the head. “For the love of  _ all that's holy _ can we try and make it more that an  _ hour _ before something goes wrong!”

 

-

 

They make it three hours. Uryuu even manages a civil conversation with Kurosaki. It’s almost pleasant. They’re even made it to district 30 without any more incidents, it’s pretty much a miracle. 

 

And then Kurosaki spots Abarai. He can almost see the gears turning in the substitute shinigami’s head.

 

“Kurosaki, don't you  _ dare.” _ Kurosaki moves before he can get a fist in that stupid orange hair, shunpo’ing towards Abarai Renji and grabbing him by the back of his shirt. Ishida watches with the air of a man whose life is falling to pieces all around him as the shinigami vice-captain is pulled kicking and screaming into a back alley. 

 

He watches as the man goes to shout again and Kurosaki slaps a hand over his mouth. “Calm down, Renji! Jesus it’s not like we’re gonna kill you!”

 

“In Abarai’s defense that is exactly what this looks like.” The shinigami goes for his zanpakuto and Uryuu kicks him in the stomach.

 

“Can we kill this one?”

 

“No, Grimmjow! Shut the fuck up for a second, I’m thinking!”

 

“Don’t try too hard. You might self destruct.” 

 

Kurosaki yelps as Abarai manages to dislodge himself enough to take a bite at his hand. “Fuck!” He kicks Abarai  and Grimmjow laughs when the red-head lands in an unconscious heap on the floor.

 

“Overkill, shinigami?”

 

“Shut up it was an accident!” 

 

-

  
  


Ichigo watches Ishida tie Renji to a chair with terrifying efficiency. Grimmjow watches with way too much interest, paying attention to every knot that is tied. It’s freaky and he doesn't want to know why the hollow is so interested. 

 

Grimmjow sees Ichigo watching and grins widely. “Didn’t think you had it in ya, Shinigami. Kidnapping! This shitty field trip just got way more interesting!” He sounds almost proud. Ichigo scowls.

 

“I didn’t  _ mean _ to kidnap him, asshole!”

 

Ishida sighs. “Don’t say that so proudly, it would be less embarrassing if this was intentional.” He ties the last knot, giving the restrained shinigami a once over before nodding. “Perfectly executed, no need to thank me.” 

 

Ichigo crosses his arms over his chest. “We need Renji! This was necessary!” 

 

Ishida rubs his temples. “In what way do we  _ need _ Abarai, we’ve made it this far, which considering just how high the odds are stacked against us, is amazing in itself. He’s more likely be a hindrance.

 

Ichigo pointedly ignores Grimmjow’s defeated muttering of ‘ _ I don't get to kill this one either?’.  _ Instead he scowls back at Ishida, making a mental note to never leave Renji alone with Grimmjow. “He wants to rescue Rukia as well! He could be a distraction or something!”

 

Ishida opens his mouth to respond, probably with something vicious, but they are interrupted by a low groan. Ichigo darts over to the chair with their - not captive because Ichigo isnt a kidnapper - guest on it, watching Renji as he shakes his head gently. 

 

“What the fuck hit me?” 

 

Uh. “That would be me. It was an accident?” 

 

At the sound of his voice Renji's head shoots up and he begins to struggle wildly. Ichigo panics.  “Uh, Shit, calm down! I’ll untie you!” 

 

“Try it Kurosaki, that took me twenty minutes, I  _ will _ kill you.” Uryuu says, because he's a sociopath with his priorities in the wrong place.

 

“Well he’s scared!”

 

“I ain’t scared fucker, let me up, I’ll kill you!” 

 

“Of course he is, we just kidnapped him!” 

 

“Accidently!” 

 

As if summoned by the implication of a fight, Grimmjow sonido’s to Ichigo’s side.

 

“He can’t rat us out if he’s dead!” 

 

“Oh my god, we aren't killing him!” Grimmjow pulls out Pantera and Ichigo yelps, he goes to pull him back.

 

Ichigo’s eyes widen and he looks down at the face mask in his hand and then back up and Grimmjow, bare faced and grinning, hollow mask glinting in the light. 

 

“Fuck.”

 

“Is that a fuckin’ Hollow! You’re all crazy!” 

 

“I’m gonna stab him!” 

 

“Zangetsu!” Ichigo relishes in the silence for a whole thirty seconds. 

 

Ishida laughs. “I know I’ve said this before, but you’re an idiot Kurosaki.”

 

Ichigo eyes the unconscious men on the floor and groans.

 

-

 

Convincing Renji that they don't mean him any harm and that Grimmjow's mask is nothing more than a questionable fashion statement is an entire ordeal but is much easier when he realises that they're here for Rukia.

 

“Why the hell are you wasting time with me when you should be rescuin’ her!”

 

Ishida - who began stress knitting again about an hour ago - snorts. “That's what I said.” 

 

Ichigo scowls. “Not helpful. Look, you’re her friend right? Thought you would want to help.” 

 

“Of course I do!” Renji’s expression blanks for a second. “Wait, how do you know, I know Rukia.”

 

Shit. “Uh, she’s spoken about you before?” 

 

Renji’s eyes narrow and and glances and Uryuu. “What is he?” 

 

“Uh, what?”

 

“ _ What _ is  _ he?  _ He’s human ain’t he! You’re the fuckers that got her in trouble in the first place! She gave ya her powers!” 

 

Ichigo frowns. “Rukia didn't give me any powers. What the hell are you talking about.”

 

He glances and Ishida who is also frowning. Rukia hadn't lost her powers in Karakura this time around, they had killed Fisher King before she even  _ had  _ to.

 

“You got some damn nerve-” 

 

“Kuchiki’s powers are gone?” 

 

“Don't act like you didn't know!” 

 

“We didn't asshole! Look, believe us or not but the last time we saw her she was  _ fine.”  _

 

Renji snarls at him and Ichigo snarls right back. Ishida snaps. “Enough! Stop fighting! Argue about it when we get her out for fuck’s sakes!”

 

Grimmjow huffs, looking over from his corner. “I agree with prissy bitch. That little shinigami bitch is more fun than the lot of you together.” 

 

Ichigo grits his teeth and shakes his head with a sigh. “Ishida is right. One we get her out you can yell all you want. Look just, are you gonna help or what?” 

 

Renji’s glare is venomous. “For Rukia.” 

 

-

 

Ichigo and Renji reach Rukia’s cell with so much ease it’s unsettling. They've left Ishida and Grimmjow behind in an effort to draw less attention to themselves. Ichigo honestly didnt know who was more upset at the situation. He'd gotten out of there before he could find out, because Ishida was wielding his knitting needles in much to agressive a fashion for Ichigo's comfort.

 

The guards at the door let them in with barely a second glance and Ichigo feels a little vindicated for getting Renji involved. The Shinigami stalks down the corridor, fueled by determination and a little bit of rage. Ichigo had forgotten how intense the man had been at the beginning. 

 

It’s strange, Grimmjow is bad enough but he hasn’t changed, not really. He still acts like the same psychopathic killing machine his is in ten years time, so Ichigo feels like he never really had to get usd the the man again. It's almost like they had never been seperated.

 

But this Renji and the Renji Ichigo knows are so vastly different that he’s getting whiplash. He can see this being a problem, because no matter how much distrust this man is showing him Ichigo can't force himself to do anything but trust him unwaveringly. 

 

He doesn't know how he’s going to survive meeting the others again. 

 

They pause in front of Rukia’s cell and Ichigo feels the rage working its way through him. She looks so small. 

 

“Have they been fucking starving her?” 

 

Renji gives him a look like he’s stupid but he can't bring himself to care. “She’s being punished for breaking the law, shinigami. It’s not meant to be a good fucking time.” 

 

“Renji? Ichigo?” 

 

She looks so damn surprised to see him and it breaks his heart in several places. “Hey midget. You want out of their?”

 

Her surprise turns to anger in a millisecond. “Ichigo! What the hell are you doing here! And- do you have a zanpakuto?” 

 

“I’m here to rescue you idiot and uh, yeah, long story, not one we have time for right now. You know, during our prison break.” 

 

Renji grips the bars until his knuckles turn white and Ichigo winces at the fury on his face. “Of fucking course he does Rukia! You gave him your _ powers! _ ” 

 

Rukia glares right back at him, unphased. “I didn't! I wouldn’t” 

 

Well, she would. But maybe not in this timeline.

 

“Well where the fuck did yours go then!”

 

“I don't know!” She yells, voice breaking, snapping Renji out of his rage. “I don't  _ know _ ! I don’t know and I’m scared Renji so stop yelling at me or I’ll hit you!” 

 

God he loves her and Aizen is going to have the slowest death possible. “Look you two, you can argue later but let's get Rukia out first?” 

 

Rukia, still looks like she can't believe whats happening “You two will be in so much trouble if you do this.” She says. Like its gonna change their minds. 

 

“Like I care!” “Who gives a shit?” They say simultaneous and Rukia blinks. And then cries. 

 

Ichigo panics. “Oi, oi stop that!” 

 

Renji snorts. “Shut up idiot. Let’s get out of here." He's looking around aggitatedly, hand of Zabimaru's hilt.

 

Ichigo rolls his eyes and pulls out Zangetsu with a huff. “Stand back then.”

 

The is a flash, and a bang. The Iron bars of Rukia's cell clatter against the floor and Ichigo darts forward, tossing Rukia over his shoulder. 

 

Now they just needed to get out.


End file.
